Choosing your bridal party shouldn’t be stressful; In fact, it should be quite the opposite. It should be fun. But sometimes finding the right people to help make sure everything goes smoothly can feel like much more of a chore that it has to be. So how do you choose the best bridesmaids without getting overwhelmed by emotions or hurting people’s feelings? Here are some tips to keep in mind when picking your wedding party.
It’s Your Special Day. Who Do You Want Around You?
Before you start thinking about who to invite, think about what kind of person you’d like to spend your special day with. Do you want someone who’s outgoing and funny? Someone who’ll bring a lot of energy to the table? Or maybe you’re looking for someone who’s quiet and reserved. If you don’t know exactly what type of personality you want, try asking close friends or family members what qualities they look for in a bride’s maid. Remember your bridal party will be a big part of your day so leave the drama out of it.
When Asking for Help, Be Open About Who You Are Looking For
If you’ve already narrowed down your list of potential bridesmaids, now’s the time to let everyone else know. Tell your mom, sister, aunt, cousin, or whoever else you trust that you’re looking for certain traits in a bridesmaid. This way, you won’t end up with a bunch of people who aren’t really a good match for you. Plus, you’ll save yourself the headache of having to explain why you didn’t pick them.
Keep In Mind That Not Everyone Is Going to be a Good Pick Even if They Are Close Friends or Family
You probably know someone who seems perfectly suited for the role of bridesmaid, but you just don’t see eye-to-eye with her. Maybe she doesn’t understand your sense of humor, or she’s too shy to speak up at parties. Whatever the reason, there’s no shame in passing over someone because you just don’t mesh well together. Remember that every person brings something unique to the table, and while you might not be able to find a “perfect” fit among your friends, you can still find a great group of women who will support you throughout your life together.
Start with siblings for your maids of honor
Sibling relationships are important to most families and if you don’t include your siblings in your wedding it can quickly turn into a family feud. When planning weddings, many couples find themselves wondering whether having siblings as bridal party members is a good idea. And how to deal with the aftermath when they aren’t included.
The answer depends on several factors, including the personalities of each sibling, the relationship between them, and the couple’s personal preferences. This can be a really tricky situation to deal with and likely one of the hardest parts of choosing a bridesmaid for your wedding.
Emphasize honor, reliability, and responsibility
When you choose bridesmaids, emphasize reliability over other factors. Bridesmaids should be reliable and responsible. They’re there to help plan the wedding and keep things running smoothly during the ceremony and reception. So when looking for bridesmaids, making sure they are punctual and reliable is a must. If not you may have bridesmaids who simply don’t show or they are late to the wedding which can be a real disaster.
Don’t stick to gender stereotypes when selecting a bridesmaid
Having a traditional wedding can be amazing! Of course, having a not-so-traditional wedding can be amazing too. The fact is, it’s your wedding and you should plan that wedding how you like it. Well as a couple of course.
One way couples are breaking away from traditional wedding roles today is by using non-gender specific bridesmaids and groomsmen. If you want to break for the gender norms that has been present for some time, you can do so at your wedding.
Consider personalities with your choices
It’s better to choose a wedding party that can get along themselves. While you may have lots of family and friends that will be great as bridesmaids they may not get along too well. And while some people can keep it together and get though something like a wedding without the situation exploding, other can’t. You certainly don’t want a toxic environment when choosing a wedding party that can turn into a disaster on your wedding day!
Be mindful of your budget and theirs
Bridesmaids are usually close friends or relatives of the bride and groom so it’s easier to determine financial requirements for being a bridesmaid. Bridesmaids are often expected to pay for their own dresses, shoes, accessories, and sometimes travel expenses which can put a huge burden on some people.
If you’re planning a wedding, you should be aware of this. There’s no reason to expect bridesmaids to foot the bill for everything when you suspect they simply can’t afford it. But there’s also no reason not to ask them to help out with some of their expenses such as shoes or dresses.
Plus, they may be costing you even more than you think. The most important question to ask yourself when deciding whether to include bridesmaids in your wedding party is, “Do I need them?” If you don’t need them, then you shouldn’t ask them to contribute financially. However, if you do need them, then you should consider asking them to contribute.
There are two ways to approach this. One is to ask each bridesmaid individually, and the other is to ask everyone at once. Whichever method you use, be mindful of your budget and their budgets. Don’t ask too many bridesmaids to chip in too little, because it makes them feel obligated to give you a gift. Likewise, don’t ask too many bridesmaids to chip in too much, because it makes them resent having to spend money on themselves.
Once you figure out how much to ask each individual bridesmaid, you’ll need to determine how much to ask the group. Again, you’ll need to take into account transportation costs, plus a small gift for the entire group. Then, divide the total cost of the gifts by the number of bridal parties involved. This gives you the amount you’ll need to ask the group.
Finally, you’ll need to calculate the total cost of the wedding. Add up the cost of the bridal party, including transportation and gifts, and divide that sum by the number of bridesmaids. This gives the total cost of the bridal event.
Don’t Feel Obligated to Ask A Person Who Asked You
You may feel obligated to ask people who have included you in their wedding party. But, keep in mind that things are tremendously different for each person and everyone doesn’t have the same options. For instance, you may have a small family while others may have a large family to pool bridesmaids from. So even if you’ve been asked to be a bridesmaid for someone else, you don’t need to feel like you should ask them, unless of course, you want to.
Is there an ideal number of bridesmaids?
The average number of bridesmaid dresses per bride varies depending on the culture. However, most cultures agree that having too many bridesmaids or maids of honor is not desirable.
If you’re planning a large wedding, then you may need more than two bridesmaids. But if you only have a small wedding party, you should consider having fewer bridesmaids.
There are no hard rules regarding the ideal number of brides maids. Some couples prefer having just one bridesmaid, some have three, and others have six.
Bridesmaids are an essential part of every bride’s wedding and friendships can be a big part of that. They are her friends, family members and confidantes. But don’t let anyone pressure you to invite certain people or have certain roles. You pick the bridal party that fits you best. Friends and family can be great choices but be weary about asking work friends to be a part of your wedding. This is especially true if you are in a position above the person you’re asking.
Time to ask your potential bridesmaids to be part of the wedding party
If you’re planning a wedding, chances are you’ve already asked some of your friends or family members to be bridesmaids at your wedding. But did you ask them to be part of the event? Did you let them know that they’d be expected to help plan the wedding? And did you give them enough notice? Sometimes you may have asked someone inadvertently in the past and they may think they are going to be part of your wedding.
Once you’ve decided whom to invite, you’ll need to figure out how many bridesmaids to invite. There are no hard and fast rules here. Many couples opt for four bridesmaids, while others go with six. Whatever number you choose, keep in mind that you’ll need to accommodate everyone’s availability.
And finally, make sure you give your friends plenty of notice. Inviting your friends to be part your wedding party is a huge commitment. Give them enough time to prepare themselves for the wedding and to find a dress. Also, make sure you give them enough time to book flights and accommodations. If you wait too long to invite them, they may forget about the wedding altogether.
If you’re looking for ways to deal with hurt feelings, consider these tips:
• Be honest. Tell your friend exactly what happened and apologize sincerely. But also let them know that it was your decisions and your life.
• Let go. Accept that things aren’t going to change overnight. Your friendship won’t magically become perfect again. Even with your closest friends it’s good to give it a bit of time.
When dealing with hurt feelings with your wedding party, remember that everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let them ruin your special day and try to keep going as best you can.
Lining up the bridesmaids for the wedding
You want to pick the order in which you invite your bridesmaids to walk down the aisle because it says something about your relationship with them. If you are close friends, you might choose to invite them together. On the flip side, if one of your bridesmaids is someone you don’t know very well, she probably won’t mind walking behind the rest of the group.
The bride usually walks down the altar first. She’ll likely be followed by her mother and father, then the groom. Then the bridesmaids follow. They’re typically arranged from closest to farthest away from the bride. Junior bridesmaids are also afterwards. This way, the bride gets to see everyone before the ceremony begins.
Other Ways for the bride to include people
Include your siblings or friends in any way possible before your wedding. If you are getting married in a church, ask your pastor to include your family members in the ceremony. If you are getting hitched outside of a church, consider asking a close friend to stand up and say some words about you. You could even ask your best man to do it.
On the wedding day, if someone needs to read something during the service, have them step forward. This person will be there for you throughout the entire event. They won’t miss anything because they will already know what is happening.
Have a personal attendant who will help you on the wedding day, especially if you don’t want to be bothered with things such as taking pictures or signing documents. Your attendants will make sure everything goes smoothly and will take care of you. You can also have honorary bridesmaids included in your wedding.
There are loads of ways you can include people in your wedding event that can make them feel included and special. Even if you don’t choose them as a brides maid there are several roles they can have to be part of your special day.
Cynthia Pate is a passionate writer and wedding enthusiast, dedicated to helping couples create their dream celebrations. With years of experience in the wedding industry, Cynthia has developed a deep understanding of the latest trends, timeless traditions, and unique ideas that make every wedding special. Her articles cover a wide range of topics, from planning and decor to etiquette and fashion, always with the goal of providing practical advice and inspiring ideas. When she’s not writing about all things wedding-related, Cynthia enjoys exploring new destinations, trying out local cuisines, and spending time with her family and friends.